Back when I dated, meeting them online was in my opinion, scary and dangerous. With all these horror stories I read and see in the news, I was hesitant to meet guys virtually. The first things I worried about were the ff: Is he a rapist? What if he’s a serial killer? Will he drug my food when I’m not looking? Is his profile information fake? The second were: Is he ugly? What if he’s fat? What if he’s boring? Will this even work? I may be a bit paranoid but people left and right kept telling me about how meeting men online is dangerous and that the internet is full of predators and rapists. Sure, my profile got a ton of responses but then, a chunk of the replies were more than creepy and borderline harassment. At the time, my info said I was a bisexual and that I liked both guys and girls. It was creepy that many guys were asking for threesomes and asking if they could see me fuck another girl. The few guys who sounded genuinely sweet and interested, I’m sorry to say but I never gave them a chance. Some of them would ask for my number after a few weeks of chatting but I refused. The majority won over the minority and I was afraid that the ‘good’ guys were only sounding nice in their responses. I never went on a date with any of them. I deleted my accounts and stuck to guys from my University. I do wish I gave them a shot though. They probably would have made good friends at least.
However, dating women was completely different. When I got replies, the first thing I considered was how they look. Is she attractive enough? Is she cute? Is her personality interesting? We would chat and send messages and I would not hesitate in giving away my number after a few days. Even if she were a bit boring online, if she met my basic requirements, then I would not hesitate to go on a date. Contrary to dating men, even if they did meet the basics, I would still be suspicious of their intentions.
I think that the negative perception of meeting men online is dangerous, at least in the Philippines, is due to media overhyping it. The news often report about girls getting raped, murdered, drugged, trafficked, or even having body parts hacked off due to meeting men online. This can make women a bit more hesitant to consider dating strangers. Though I believe that this is just a minority of those who meet men virtually and they probably posted in suspicious websites like Craig’s List (looking at the ads there really give me the creeps sometimes). The reports of women scamming guys are considerably fewer and not as dangerous as men though this does not mean that meeting women online can’t be as risky as men. Thankfully, there are now apps like Tinder where the quality of men and women online is higher and their identities can be confirmed (most of the time).
Personally, I like online dating. Since I wasn’t born with a gaydar and wouldn’t know a lesbian if she sat next to me in class for 6 months (this actually happened), being provided a list of available single girls to choose from is quite convenient. Straights have Tinder, gays have Grindr and lesbians have…Brenda. My next post will be about lesbian dating apps and why we’re in desperate need of them. I’ve tried many and Brenda is the best I can find so far but I now digress from my original topic. Online dating is fine, just as long as you take caution with the stranger who you will meet and learn to sniff out any triggers that indicate this person is dangerous.